Winding Down In Brew Town

At this point I am finishing roughly an 8-10 week assignment which has brought me to Milwaukee virtually every week.  Suffice it to say, I am a little tired of the travel, and despite the fine vegan culinary adventures I have been on, I am still sitting in my hotel room, spending the night away from home.  In a past life, I would never call home and brag about the meals.  I remember getting into some deep "stuff" years ago, while I was going on and on about how wonderful a meal was.  I wasn't really getting the fact that my wife was at home trying to scrape together a meal, and here I was out living high on the hog (sorry about that reference).  This is a different time, and I feel a large part of my therapy in this endeavor is the ability to talk about what I am eating.  So nowadays I do just exactly what I used to shy away from.  I call home every day, and go on and on about the food adventures I am experiencing.  Its a different type of conversation now.  I think my wife probably would rather be dining with me, than putting something together out of the scraps from the fridge, but I also believe she understands the transition that I am going through, and gives me some latitude when it comes to what would normally be a breach of decorum when travelling for work.

I will say that as far as the past few days have gone, I have eaten like a vegan king.  I knew this was my last week in Milwaukee for a while, so I hit up all my faves, some new places I've never been, and never skipped one meal.  And most important, I totally boycotted that office cafeteria.  Nice place, lots of choices, but none for me (I really like more than salad).  Had this been my first week in town, I would be livin large, but I am drained, I need to get home.  I need to sit on my couch, with my wife, and have a PB&J.  Yep, the meal that started it all.  On day one, when I had nothing to eat, I lived on these for a little while. 6 months later, I've matured,.. I no longer giggle when I say Seitan (hehehe, bbq Satan, oooooo)... Ok, I still giggle.  Its a funny name.  Very demonic.  Would be rough going around in life with a name like that.

As I mentioned, I'm a food lover.  I don't always need a long term relationship with a meal, sometimes I just want southern fried tofu (aaahhh,... @PalominoBar), and do the walk of shame back to my rental car.  I want to have an experience with my meal.  I dont want to just eat it, and get full, I want to writhe in pleasure of every bite.  I want to enjoy it, look forward to it,... and not look back.  I'm starting to feel like that again.  I know its out there.  It is certainly in Milwaukee.

But for now, that PB&J is calling me back to Cincinnati, and so is my wife.

6 months! (The end of my experiment????)

First of all, "Happy World Vegetarian Day".  I admit, I only knew about this through Twitter.  I typically follow any special holidays, or other notable days by the design of the "Google" page.  Since there was no "horn of plenty" or any other theme, how would I know?  Thank you Twitter for that one.

So in April I said I would go vegan for six months and see how it was working out, and then decide what I would do after.  I can honestly say that it did not really dawn on me that I made that statement until this morning.  I thought, "hey, I decide if I go vegan or go home today".  Well actually I haven't thought about reverting.  Yes I miss certain things (fried chicken lately), but I don't really see myself going back.  At this point I am inclined to give it another 6 months, then make a decision.

So today I'm a half year vegan, lets see how the next half goes!

Dealing with my obsession... (Faux Meat Dilemma)

No fun and games tonight, I'm having a somewhat of a dilemma. My friend Michelle asked me a few weeks ago what the point of the fake meat was. I cant recall what she said exactly, but it was basically; "Why go to the trouble of finding a chicken alternative, when you can just eat chicken?". Ok, I didn't debate her on the chicken industry, but I saw something deeper in what she was telling me. I've heard the; "humans are designed to eat meat" and "humans are designed NOT to eat meat" arguments. I've even heard the "god put animals on the planet to grace our tables" argument. (I think that last one is a bit of a stretch), But the point was there. You don't make it to the top of the food chain by nibbling on carrots. So are we or are we not suppose to eat meat? (Don't answer that,)

Another good friend, who is also a customer of mine is a very responsible carnivore. My friend Troy knows where all of his food comes from. He visits the farm he gets his pork, beef, chickens. He pays about $4 a dozen for his eggs, but he claims they are the best you've ever had, and he says the chickens get manicures and saunas (I made up that last part). He drives 45 minutes to get milk from one particular farm. And he is sickened by the state of commercial animal farming in this country, but he hasn't given up any of this food. He has taken a responsible look at what he buys and eats. He probably eats less processed food that I do, and I am out searching for the best fake chicken. Who is closer on the path of righteousness?

Maybe I'm being a little dramatic, but am I just trying to fool myself into thinking I'm still eating meat? Is this helping or hurting me in the long haul? I have to wonder.

I'm back in Milwaukee this week, and I went to another local veg place. This place is called Bombay Sweets (Note, this website is obnoxious as hell, dont let that dissuade you). The food was awesome indeed, but I was really struggling with the lady there to get my order right. I spent about 15 or 20 minutes going over the menu, I asked a number of questions, and had her confirm everything I said,.. no butter, no ghee, no paneer, cheese, VEGAN!. She must have serviced a half dozen others, and kept coming back to me. Finally we settled on some food, and I took it to go. I've never been so adamant to get my order right.

How are these two things related?  Lets just say I'm still struggling with this, and I have not lost the craving for my old foods. I was thinking about fried chicken and ribs this weekend. Am I so addicted, that I need to get away from those foods, and anything similar? Is eating fake chicken or faux-b-q keeping my head in the clouds?  Perhaps tonight I was overcompensating by being a royal pain in the ass at dinner? (the lady there was a sweetheart, and I tipped her handsomely, btw) I dont know, and I'm searching for the answer. I dont want to believe I have to give up yet another part of my diet. Another dilemma, create additional stress to get over my meat/dairy/eggs obsession, or stay closer to that addiction by fooling myself with bbg seitan and other similar products.

No answers,... just questions. I think work is getting to me a bit now, adding to my stress, which exacerbates this situation. As cool as Milwaukee is, I am looking forward to wrapping this up next week, and getting home for a while. Maybe that is the ticket.

I Vanquish Thee..........

Pizza, plain and simple.  Its America's food (sorry Italia), and its has always been in my top foods.  I have always been a lover of good food, from complex to simple.  I love exotic creations, Asian, Italian, French,.. but I also appreciate the American top 3 (IMHO); hot dogs on the grill in summer, a cheeseburger,... or a slice of yummy 'zza.  "Not Dogs", however, are really "Not" the same (unless you Chicago style them, which is basically the only way I eat them now).  Garden burgers, Lentil, Mushroom, etc are good in their own right, but they just aren't the right... That leaves Pizza.  What to do about that?

Well we have been working on that for 6 months now (by "we", I mean "my wife").  I've had some good ones on the outside I must comment on.  Most notably, ClassicSlice and Marchese's, both in Milwaukee, and this one (in glorious Northside, Cincinnati) is close to the house, but still untapped for me; "North Slice".  As for homemade though, its still leaving something to be desired.  I admit, I jumped on the Daiya bandwagon for a while, but I recently hopped off.  Yeah yeah, it melts good,.. but then so does plastic.  Ok, thats harsh, its not that bad, but I'm a "noob vegan", and I still remember cheese.  Perhaps if you have never had it, or cant remember, then perhaps you find the fakes good.  Unfortunately, I do not.  A few weeks back however, I was at Marchese's Olive Pit in Milwaukee (a block from the rok), and they have a single vegan pizza on their menu, which, however, is somewhat outstanding.  Now the kalamata olives dominate the flavor, but they use "Follow Your Heart" vegan cheese, which was in fact the deal maker for me.

So here we have it,... our finest vegan 'zza creation top date, and I admit, we even cheaped out on a few items, not knowing how it would come out.  The crust was simple, frozen bread dough, the sauce came from a jar (oh marone, are you kidding me?), caramelized onions and garlic, mushrooms, sun-dried tomatoes, Field Roast Italian Sausage (yeah baby, FR, you heard that right), and FYH mozz.  Awesome. So much so, I had to take a picture of the last piece, and write a blog entry just in honor of that pizza.

One kid was converted in the process (The free loving, free spirited one).  My "intellectual" son is going to be a tough nut to crack though. He still debates me on the logic of faux meats and cheeses,... and to be honest, I'm struggling with that as well.  Are they holding me back? or helping me forward? Hmmm,.. subject for another time....  One day at a time.

Vegan for a day!

No not me, I've now been vegan for many days.  Almost 6 months worth of days at this point. But I'm here to talk about my brother and sister.  My family is somewhat spread out.  There aren't many of us, and we also don't live that close to each other.  Fortunately (depending on your perspective), my work has taken me to Milwaukee for the last 6 weeks, and for the next few as well.  My brother and sister live in Madison (which I will be blogging about next week, as I'm sure I can find a vegan place there).  Last night, they decided to make the trek to awesome @Bay_View.  We went to one of my favorite places, @PalominoBar.  Suffice it to say, I dont get to see them very often, so it was quite a treat to hang with my brother and sister. Now before I get all blubbery, this blog is not about that, so wait for the Xmas card to hear me gush.

First, big props to my sis, who didn't forget what my all time favorite football club is.  And if you think you know me, then you know damn well that I am a die hard fanatic of the one an only, Tottenham Hotspur.  She brought me a hat, knowing full well, that Cincinnati was short of Hotspur merchandise.  Come on Cincy! (@numberonehotspurobsessedinthenati)

I thought the evening could not have started out better, as my sister proceeded to "serve" my brother legal papers.  I wont go into any more details than that, again, this blog is about me, and I wont have them steal my thunder.  (I only mention that because of I do a little amateur lawyering on the side. Its kind of a side hobby)  But never-the-less, when you see your brother and sister for the first time in a year, your brother gets served (by your sister), before the first pint is drained, you know its going to be a good night. (Chill the Jaeger)

Lets get to dinner.  First off, this place is good old fashioned southern fried goodness.  Its not, (nor are any of these place in Milwaukee) entirely vegan, but they have a variety of nice options.  One of my favorites are the Toffalo (got the spelling right this time) wings, which are a combination of either seitan, or soy, battered, deep fried, and covered in hot sauce.  They make a yummy vegan ranch, and this dish is big enough to feed a rather large family of eastern european immigrants.  Or any immigrants for that matter.  I don't think eastern europeans are any more or less partial to vegan buffalo wing like food stuffs.  My brother and sister were good sports.  Dining with non-vegans (I was one not that long ago, but I dont judge) is the norm for me.  When I go out to work when on the road, I'm used to getting a salad and a potato, and my coworker asks for a large platter of puppies and kittens, or something similar.... Lets just say I'm a good ex-carnivore.

So I figured these two would dine as they probably normally do, but they decided to go all in, and go vegan for the evening.  My brother went as far as to inquire about how the fries were cooked.  Kind of defeats the purpose if you have deep fried tofu, only to find out it was cooked in animal fat (puppies and kittens no doubt)... but of course, the Palomino maintains a vegan fryer (they are awesome)... So to make a long story short, we ate like vegan kings and queens.  This place will not let you leave hungry (or sober for that matter.... just kidding dad, we drank sweet tea).  We were stuffed, and all kidding aside, it was awesome to see them.  It was pretty cool that they went vegan for the night, (not that it was remotely healthy mind you),... but we can rest assured that no animals were killed in the making of our evening.  Makes it all the better!

The Game-changer..... Vegan Reuben

Yeah, you heard that right gamechanger.  No other way to put it  Not unlike when 40 years ago a little known hillbilly was brought to Pittsburgh to take on the role of Quarterback.  Ok, I may be blowing this sandwich a bit out of proportion with that one.  Again, I have to give props to @milwaukeevegan for suggesting that @thecometcafe on the "Lower East Side" (catchy name) has the "Best Vegan Reuben".  At this time it really didn't register, because I am still having canivorian "meat" dreams, and Vegan and Reuben together didn't seem to register. I always liked reubens, I never loved them, but it was one of my goto sandwich's.

I admit, I don't have dreams specifically about reubens, but I do have the occasional dream that I am begin chased by large sausages.  I guess I need to lobby the Brewers to include a Field Roast Smoked Apple Sage be added to that lineup.  I digress, but Field Roast has a lot to do with it.  As I mentioned on an earlier blog about where I learned about this wonderful company, I even mentioned the reuben by name.  I had my first at @thecometcafe, and I never looked back.

On getting home, we made a bee-line (no offense) to the nearest Whole Foods, which incidentally is the only one in Greater Cincinnati.  I found the Field Roast area, and bought one of each thing they had.  (And yes, the sausage was the Pizza game-changer, but the I still classify the reuben as the definitive overall game-changer).  I picked up a few other essentials, and that evening I was making my first batch.  Nice Organic Rye (Organic is a given anymore.  Although I think more often than not, its a scam to suck more of your hard earned pay, I'm trying not to let my cynicism rule my day), sauerkraut, various condiments to try and duplicate the Thousand Islands dressing, and some Daiya cheese, to sprinkle on top.  Now contrary to most people, I'm not completely sold on Daiya.  Yes it melts good, but its not my favorite.  I guess I still remember what cheese tastes like, so this stuff is far removed.  Besides, buying a cheese because it melts good seems to be the wrong reason.  When I got a steak, it wasn't because I liked the color of it.

Getting out the skillet, Earth Balancing my bread.  (It seems wrong to say "Buttering" now), assembling my new creations, and using my family as the test kitchen.  I say family, but in reality my kids still thing Vegan, or Veganism is some sort of disease.  My son desperately thinks I'm going to be in some health trouble because I dont drink Milk.  Yes, I'm learning that the marketing campaign does affect the young pretty good as well.  Not to mention some of my closer friends, now worried about my Soy intake, as some study, or studies, no doubt funded by the Dairy Farmers of America, said too much Soy will cause health problems.  Well my answer to that is; "too much milk will turn you into a Cow".  Hard to argue with that one.  It is infact what it was designed to do......

Back to the kitchen, and my testers.  Lets just say, that this lovely golden brown delicacy was heavan in my mouth, and I proceeded to make them every day for the rest of that week. (thats not actually my sandwich in the picture, it just looked pretty good)  At one point in my endeavor I had thought I lost the almighty sandwich forever, but with one relatively simple creation, I became once again inspired. Over the next few weeks, I've made several variations, some grilled, some not, sometimes sauerkraut, sometimes cole slaw, but at the core, I still have go back to Field Roast for making it all possible.

So "game-changer" may be a bit strong, but its these little strategic battles that I win, make me think I can get through this.  Now, tackling the Jimmy Johns "Italian Night Club", is another story entirely.  I think some things cannot be redone.  For now, thank you Reuben!

Sometimes its all about "What could have been"

You know that feeling when you are out of town, far from home, going out to dinner after work.  You are having a few drinks, ordering some nice food, and then out of nowhere comes this drop dead bombshell sauntering up to you, giving you a sly inviting smile.  You are just minding your own business, but you have to admit, you are looking rather sharp that day, nice crisp shirt, shoes with a fresh shine, and in this light, your gray hair isn't really showing though.  You are minding your own business, and she sits down next to you, pulls out a cigarette, asks you for a light, then slips you her number.  Pushing up your Prada frames, you glance at the note, and then proceed to roll your 18kt white gold band around your wedding finger and politely respond.  "Thanks, but I am spoken for".  She smiles, walks off, and you feel good,.. no you feel damn good.  You still have it, but you also know, you have it pretty damn good.  You have a fine wife, great kids, nice house, a decent job,.. well a good job at least.  You know that feeling?  

Now, I have absolutely no clue what it is like for that woman to walk up.  That was total fiction.  For me, I'm more likely to have a homeless guy approach me and ask for a bite of my sandwich (don't laugh, it happened).  My point is, you are presented with a tempting situation, and you are happy and proud of yourself that you never waver, and sail right through it... like Lindsey Lohan through rehab (bad analogy, but it was really the first thing that came to mind).  Everything seems to shine brighter, and smell fresher.  Ok, I've taken it a bit far, but this was my evening...........

Leaving my office about 6:30 tonight, I decide all of the vegan fare that I have discovered in this town, has left me feeling pretty good, but still, I'm feeling a little reckless tonight, and I'm looking for some action.  You know what I'm talking about.... I'm looking for some raw fish.  Yeah, thats it.  My weakness, my vice, my one splurge that I have somehow justified in all of this.  I haven't had it in a while, but tonight its on my mind.  I find a rather upscale part of downtown Milwaukee.  Not sure what it is called, but its coincidentally around Wisconsin and Milwaukee.  I kid you not, thats the intersection (I'll have to see if there is a corner of Ohio and Cincinnati when I get home).  There are two Japanese places side by side, I choose the one with a nice looking Sushi bar.  This place is aptly named Sake-Tumi.    

So I pull up to the bar, strike up a conversation with a very non-Japanese looking fellow behind the bank of slaughtered sea creatures.  Now, in the past, this had raised red flags for me.  Note that I have spent a lot of time overseas, particularly in Japan, and I have come to find that if the guy slicing your fish is not speaking to you in broken Jinglish, beware of what you get.  I digress, and that is the old me anyway.  I start out smartly with some vegetable Gyoza, and some Edamame, then I get right to it....  "Do you have Toro?" and I'm not talking the kind your dad made you push across the lawn on a Saturday  I'm talking fatty marbled raw maguro.  And they have it.  And I don't care about the Market Price on the menu (Ok, work is paying for it), I'm thinking that Toro is for dinner tonight.... But before I order, I think long and hard about what I have accomplished thus far, and what I am trying to accomplish as I go forward.  I know that a little bit of fish isn't going to change the world, but I begin to think better of what I am doing, and why I came in here... and what I am about to do.  

I announce to "Eric-san", my sushi chef, that I am a strict vegetarian.  Not about to lose a promising tip, Eric commences to put together three fine Maki rolls for me, using shitake mushrooms, pickled veggies, tofu, seaweed, avocado, cucumber.  Finishing this meal off with a nice large Asahi Super Dry, and I am feeling pretty good.  I had a decent meal, found a new restaurant, and didnt compromise myself in the process (I didn't, right?).

Ok, don't drill to deep into this, I already know.  Chances are good my Agedashi Tofu was deep fried in a whale oil, in a kettle sitting atop a flame fueled by the burning carcases of dolphins.  Ok, maybe I exaggerate a wee bit.  And yes, I am well aware of what Age-dashi is made of, but I will admit that it hit me halfway back to the hotel that Agedashi Tofu was made with Dashi. That should not have been that hard to figure out.  Like a Ham sandwich, may contain "Ham".  My bad.  

You see my point I hope. Its more than just a meal that turned a corner.  It is a corner for me as well.  I admit, I'm not perfect, and I have my moments of relapse, but hey, I am trying.  I went out tonight with debauchery on my mind, and I chose a better path.  I'm trying to do the right thing for myself and my family.  I'm trying to live a kind life, and separate myself from the death that is the part of so many of our lives.  I'll think about that one tonight.  Why does my dinner require the death of some creature?  I dont think it does.  Well at least tonight it didn't.  I need to take this one day at time......................

Milwaukee??? Who Knew???

Over the past month, I have been travelling weekly to Milwaukee.  As you can see, I have not been very successful with travelling, so I was not really looking forward to a 12 week assignment out of town.  Its hard enough finding food to eat in the house (although I admit, its been a while since I made a PB&J.  I posted a note on my Grateful Dead twitter (@gratefulday)... (I run a Grateful Dead streaming audio site in my spare time, but that's a discussion for another blog)... that I was going to be travelling to Milwaukee, and out of nowhere @milwaukeevegan shows up with a few good ideas.  One thing lead to another, and before I knew it, I was sitting in a nice local bar called the Palomino, enjoying some southern fried vegan food.  Lets just forget about health food here, this was not the stuff.  I'm not saying the whole menu was like that, but I zeroed in on the "Tuffalo (sic) wings"  (I've loved wings in my former life, and I continue to be on a quest for a vegan replacement).  Suffice it to say, the Palomino was my first of many such adventures in Milwaukee.  Hey, I may lose my crabbiness after this trip.

I took the liberty of creating a little map to help guide me around town for my stay.  I tagged all of the places that have Vegan friendly on the menu.  I'm sure I'll talk more about them over the next month.  I'll be flying back weekly.

View Milwaukee Vegan Restaurants in a larger map

Two other notable standouts have to be Honeypie and The Comet Cafe.  As it turned out, these two and the Palomino are owned by the same folks.  Clearly they are doing something right, as there vegan options are great.  Honeypie makes a vegan "Porkslaw" sandwich that tastes dangerously familiar, and the Comet truly has the best Reuben I have ever had, vegan or not.

I also learned about something else at these places that may very well change the course of this veganification transformation I am going through.  Two simple words could have the power to grant me safe passage through the troubled waters. (Actually, I created these troubled waters, so I hope it doesn't sound like I'm playing the martyr).  

Two simple words can help right my course, and help lift the fog (how about this drama)..... "Field Roast".  Yes, you heard that right.  I thought it was just some vegan term that I should have known, so when I first heard it at Honeypie, I said "Oh yeah, Field Roast", like I knew what I was talking about. I'm new to the club, so I'm not sure what rules, or definitions I'm supposed to know.  On some respects I was a little disappointed that my meal was not a completely unique creation from some master vegan chef, but then I got over that in a hurry when I realized I might actually be able to buy this stuff myself.  The little lightbulb went off, and that weekend you can best believe, we were heading across town to the Whole Foods.

OK, I have digressed quite a bit from the top of this entry.  I think I made my point about Milwaukee, much more than I had hoped for, and it has done much for my crabbiness.  I cant do my whole adventure justice, so I leave some more of the details for later blogs.

Indian Summer! (another cheat, I feel so dirty)

In the past few months, I have grown quite find of Indian cuisine. Actually in the several months prior to veganizing, I discovered that I truly loved Englands national dish (Chicken Tikka Masala?).  At least that is what I heard it was.  There is a particularly lovely Indian place in Cincinnati called Ambar India.  I started going there mostly because one of my new friends (the lady that sold me my house) was fond of Indian cuisine, and we went out to lunch quite a bit.  I figured I would go along and see what it was all about.  It didn't take me long to fall in love with the menu.  I even turned a few others on to this place as well, so there has never been a shortage of reasons to visit.

However, since my veganification (its my new word), I omitted the obvious offending dishes.  Anything with meat or cheese was clearly off limits, but I really tried hard to ignore the wonderfully buttery sauces that accompanied most of the dishes.  OK, I tried, but barely (meaning I didn't really try).  I asked them about any vegan friendly dishes, and the waiter kindly shook his head and said, "no".  I didn't press on much, I just tried to order responsibly, and let the naan fall where they may.

I'll admit, I've never been one to discuss the ingredients, or preparation techniques with waiters or waitresses, so I'm not used to having a dialog with them about what goes into the meal.  I know its just something I need to "get over" and deal with, but in my many years of carnivorian bliss, I've been a model customer.  Rarely do I complain, nor do I ever special order. I (almost) always enjoy the meal.  I'm pretty easy, and consider myself "off the rack" with respect to ordering things as they were intended.  I've dined with many colleagues and friends that specified things to the Nth degree, and I always crossed my fingers that the chef didnt accidentally spit on my plate when he/she prepared the meal.  Needless to say, "special ordering" has come new to me, and particularly when I'm with coworkers.  I get enough grief about this, so I try to minimize it when I'm out with them.

Yeah I hear ya, get over it.  Why sacrifice your morales out of laziness, or peer pressure?  I'm with you entirely, and I promise you that I am figuring it out, or trying to.  I will say that when I go back to Ambar, and even if the same big strapping Indian waiter comes back to me, I will try not to cower to peer pressure, and I will clarify that I do not want butter or "ghee".  Thanks to my new twitter friend @isitvegan for help on that one.

More likely, I will go to Vaishali's wonderful blog, and "beg" my wife to make something for dinner.

5th Month of Vegan-ification

I've several blog entries in the works.  I've been travelling quite a bit the last 3 or 4 weeks to lovely Milwaukee, and I have quite a bit to share from there.  I met a great twitter friend @milwaukeevegan that has turned me on to numerous places there, and I will say that I have become a much happier Vegan, and have met a lot of great people while travelling there.  I promise to share the stories, and make more (I'm flying back in the morning).  For now I will enjoy Labor Day with my family in Cleveland where my mother-in-law is cooking a splendid roast, of which I will not be partaking :-)

Sushi, my mistress.............

Lets just get this out in the open now.  In my pursuit of a vegan lifestyle, I have left out one important point.  I have internally declared Sushi to be off limits.  Don't ask me how I justify it, but I have, and I have developed a rather effective guilt suppression mechanism to deal with it.  I allowed myself to pick one thing that I could "keep".  Like on survivor when you get to take something.  At least that was how they did it on the first few seasons, I haven't watched it  in years, but I digress.

I have had Sushi about a half dozen times in the now 4 months of this adventure.  I started off heavy in the fish (Toro is my ultimate), but have noticed lately that I am seeking out the vegetarian only versions, which I am finding quite enjoyable (I'm justifying now, can you tell?).  I haven't yet cut out the fish entirely.  It is hard, with sacrificing so much, I have kept one mistress, and she is cold and raw!  When I'm enjoying sushi, I am on top of the world, and I feel as though I can conquer anything.  She makes me feel strong and powerful, young and sexy, smart and rich.  Yes, I feel all these things, and it is as though the night will never end..... but just like that, there is nothing left but some pickled ginger, and a bit of wasabi on the plate.  The Asahi has run dry, and the bill is coming.  My heart begins to pound, as I know reality is coming back, and I have to walk out, and go home smelling of vinegar, ginger, nori, and the soles of Toro, Sake, Unagi lingering on me... who is this person staring back at me in the mirror?

I think I can handle it, but then life goes on the next day, and I am off for yet another daily struggle trying to understand my life choice, what it really means, why I'm doing it.  How do I justify my little indiscretions?  Will I ultimately find myself on the path to righteousness?  Yes we are talking about food.  I told you I took it seriously

A rough week in New Albany, Indiana

My job requires that I travel.  Quite a bit of late.  I dont really mind it, as I oddly enjoy checking into hotels, packing and unpacking.  I've gotten pretty good at it over the years.  This trip is a bit different though.  New Albany is a small town on the Indiana side of Louisville, Ky.  Lets just say that there is not a lot going on there, and even less, when you are at a trade show at the Horseshoe Casino.  Google map it, and you will see there is nothing close.  When you are a vegan, and stuck here for almost a week.  Plan on shedding a few pounds, because you are going to be hard pressed to find something to eat.

I had probably the blandest meal of my entire life on the first night.  I had to opt for room service, as I was doing a training class at 8am the next morning, and was woefully prepared.  It was just as well, my colleagues were going to the steak place in the casino.  Lets just say that I get my fair share of "ribbing" about my lifestyle change.  I thought about telling everyone I was gay, so they would leave me alone about the food, but I don't think anyone would buy it.  Although because of my carnivore history, few people are buying this as well.  At any-rate, I called room service, and worked up a meal of sides, salad and a potato.  Very bland, almost no flavor, but I will say that when it was delivered, they guy who delivered it assured me that nothing was cooked in butter, that he made sure the cooks used olive oil.  Despite the horrendous meal, that really made my evening.

The rest of the week was slim pickings.  These trade shows include lunch, which is marginally edible for the default crowd, but even slimmer for me.  I managed to pick around and find a few safe things, but suffice it to say, I was pretty hungry.  For me, there is nothing worse than being hungry.  I make a lot of bad decisions when I am hungry.  Its like the beer goggles.  I get food goggles, and I always wake up in the morning with that feeling of shame.  My boss, who really thought he was helping me out, brought me and my other colleagues brownies, asked me if these were ok for me to eat.  My survival instinct took over, and I decided that what I did not know could not hurt me.  I could tell pretty clearly that I should not be eating these.  I did, and I felt lousy the rest of the day.  Hungry would have been better.

On a lighter note.  Paula Deen was there that day, and I got relatively close to her, and I thought that it would be fun to ask her if she had any recommendations or recipes for vegans.  However, knowing where I was, I thought better of it, as some burly boys around her might mistake me for some eco-terrorist and pummel me to within an inch of my life.  In retrospect, I should have done it.  I'm pretty sure, I wont be able to eat at the Paula Deen buffet when it opens there.

Completely off topic, two of my closest colleagues, Todd and Dave taught me how to shoot craps, and for 3 hours, I managed to forget about food, have fun, and at the end of the night I left with about 80 bucks more than I came with with.  I think I could substitute my food anxiety with gambling, but knowing my addictive nature, I'd have a gambling blog up here before too long.  Maybe I should stay away from casinos for a while.

Before I knew it, I was heading for home, back to my safe haven of veganism.  My lovely wife, faithful dog, and my kids.  Its nice to be home, walking into the kitchen, open the fridge.... what is that??? leftover pizza from my 2 carnivores... Pepperoni and Cheese.... Damn.... and in my safe haven too!

Cheating, with the help of my kids (and Gardetto's)

Three months into this adventure, and I am getting fairly conflicted.  My mind is telling me what I should be doing, but my body is rejecting me.  Well Ok, maybe reject is a harsh way to describe it, in fact from a health and welfare standpoint, I actually feel pretty good.  At this point I've lost about 15 lbs, and I have not really increased my physical activity one iota.  I would say my mind is rejecting this whole notion more than my body.  I think my body is doing just fine.  I will say that I have noticed the tendency to not look at labels that close lately.  I don't want to see "may contain milk", or the dreaded "casein", which I'm sure I could not taste anyway (so please take it out for god's sake).  I also used to have the tendency to finish my kids meals. (perhaps thats one of the reasons I needed to lose a few lbs).  I have noticed my propensity to eat the kids pizza crusts has increased of late.  I make sure there is no cheese, but I admit, I do get the essence of pepperoni pizza, and it is truly a moment on the lips.  Its a very shallow satisfaction.  I remember in my old ways, I used to crave McDonalds Big Mac's, and every time I had one, I felt ill afterwards, but for some reason, I got over that, and would crave it again at a later date.  I can imagine how lousy I would feel if I had one now.

My kids asked me tonight "How long are you going to be vegan?"  And then "When can you eat ribs?".  This is my dilemma.  My ex wife is a carnivore.  Like a T-Rex version.  I swear, these kids are personally responsible for a herd of cattle every month.  If anyone was ever to get the "gout" in this day and age, it would be my 10 yr old son.  As I think I mentioned in a prior blog, I have to wonder if there meat eating volume has increased.  I dont recall all the steak and ribs being consumed a year ago.  Maybe I'm just being paranoid, or maybe I am dreaming of steak and ribs.  Nope, believe it or not, I am right now craving a Big Mac.

Ok, my kids are not slipping me animal products on the side, but i will say that it is hard trying to live this lifestyle, with a couple of kids that are being given a totally opposite message.  Such is the life when you enjoy shared parenting from your prior betrothed.  I need to suck it up, be a man, and start sneaking faux meat in their diet without telling them.  Gotta work on those meatballs.  They were close, but I think my son sensed a trap last time.  I'll get them yet.

Oh yes, Gardetto's.  I haven't read the label, but nothing in those wonderfully tasty snacks should require the life of an innocent animal, but I will bet you a dollar to a donut (sorry about that), that the ingredients "may contain milk".  Why, I will never know.  Ok, I'll work on it.  I'll start reading labels.  I'll get better.  its just been a hard month with travel and all.

Ok, my wife just informed me that "May Contain Milk" is only for allergies, as a disclaimer for food processors.  I wonder if its still "vegan"?

Happy Birthday Jerry

Taking the day off of crabbing, to wish Jerry a Happy Birthday, may he live in all of us, and help make our lives better and happier.  I know I am because of him (and my wife, of course)  Thanks Jerry!